Slow Cooker Pot Roast

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Well school has sure been fun this semester, covered in rainbows and sprinkled with glitter.  Been awhile since I updated this blog, since most of my free time this semester consisted of eating dessert in bed and crying over it while watching Netflix, avoiding school projects and responsibility. That's college summed up in a nutshell. Made it to finals, so now I'm procrastinating on doing a take-home test so that I can tell you about some pot roast!

I wanted to make a meal that would leave me lots of leftovers to fuel me during finals next week. And since I'm a lazy ass, I wanted to something that I could throw in the Crock-pot to cook while I was at work. There are a billion ways to make pot roast, and since it is so versatile, you can add more/less ingredients without the pot roast gods getting angry. Everyone seems to have a way of cooking pot roast he or she likes best, so alter the spices/ingredients based on your preferences.

Ingredients: 2 - 2.5 lb chuck roast, little potatoes cut in half, (I used 12 red and 3 gold ones, but the exact number/proportion doesn't really matter), 1 yellow onion cut into wedges, a bulb of garlic peeled and diced (I like garlic, so use less if you're not insanely obsessed with it), 20 pearl onions (again, use as many or as few as you want-or skip them and add an extra yellow onion instead), 5 carrots cut into chunks, 1 cup beef broth, and enough rosemary/thyme/salt/pepper to coat the roast.

Begin by securing yourself a good 'ol chunk of cow. I chose a cheap chuck roast. A sticker on the package labeled it as a roast meant for the oven, but using my Crock-pot did not make me go up in flames, so use whatever your little heart desires. F*** you, meat stickers, you don't tell me what to do.

The night before you're planning on making your roast, rub all sides of it with enough salt to make your doctor cry. Sprinkle a decent amount of pepper, dried thyme, and dried rosemary all over it as well.   Might seem like too much, but these spices are going to be flavoring your vegetables too, so don't skimp. Place the meat in a ziplock bag and leave in the fridge overnight. 

Put your roast on the bottom of the Crock-pot, then add the sliced potatoes.

Next, sear your vegetables. In theme of the whole pot roast flexibility concept, this step is something you can skip, but I think it helps add flavor. I warmed about 3 tbs of oil in a medium pan, then added 2 tbs of butter (I am a fat kid at heart). Turn the heat to medium high.

Take your onion wedges and toss them into the hot oil/butter. Since they're going to be sitting in the Crock-pot for hours, you don't need to cook them in the pan very long, just a few minutes to get a little color on the edges. I cooked them longer than I needed to. Make sure and flip them a couple times so they don't burn. Then, using a spatula, take them out of the pan and place on top of the potatoes in the Crock-pot. Leave the leftover oil/butter in the pan.

Throw in your carrot chunks and pearl onions and sear those for a few minutes. Except, don't throw them hard, or else you will have little onion bouncy balls going everywhere, while butter/oil splatters everywhere. I speak in theory, of course.

So on second thought, don't throw them at all. Be gentle with them. Treat your pearl onions and carrots like sleeping babies as you gently slide them onto the pan without waking them up. 

*Disclaimer: No, I don't cook babies. My pre-finals brain is confused and doesn't know how to simile. Don't judge me, plzkthanks.

Once those start to get a little color, toss in the garlic. Turn down the heat to medium and mix everything often, because the garlic will brown quickly.

Once the garlic has browned, toss all this goodness into the Crock-pot. I stirred the vegetables to get them more evenly spaced out.

Lastly, add your cup of beef broth. I used a little more than a cup since I can't follow exact measurements. I have a problem with recipe authority.

Let's all take a moment to appreciate my narrow escape from adding coffee to the recipe. Make sure the liquid you pour in is beef broth and not the cup of coffee you precariously placed next to it. This isn't a peppermint mocha pot roast, yo.

Turn your Crock-pot on low for 6-7 hours, go about your normal duties, and come home to a hot meal! I ended up leaving mine alone for 8 hours since I couldn't get home right away, but it was still fine. Slow cooked meals make me feel like someone else cooked the meal just for me.

I could barely get the meat out of the Crock-pot without it falling apart. How it should be ;)

Slow Cooker Pot Roast

Ingredients:

2 - 2.5 lb chuck roast
15 small potatoes, cut in half (assortment of red and yellow)
1 yellow onion, cut into wedges
20 pearl onions, peeled
5 carrots, cut into chunks
1 bulb of garlic, peeled and diced (or just use a few cloves)
1 cup beef broth
3 tbs vegetable oil
2 tbs butter
2 tbs dried rosemary
2 tbs dried thyme
Salt/pepper to coat

Directions:

1) Rub rosemary, thyme, salt, and pepper over roast. Place in ziplock bag and let set overnight in the fridge

2) Put roast on the bottom of the Crock-pot, then add potatoes 

3) Warm up oil in a medium pan, then add butter. Turn the heat to medium high

4) Toss yellow onion wedges into the hot oil/butter. Cook them several minutes until seared, flipping as needed.  Place on top of the potatoes in the Crock-pot. Leave the leftover oil/butter in the pan. Place carrot chunks and pearl onions into the pan and sear those for a few minutes. Add a little more oil if you need to. Once those start to get a little color, toss in the garlic. Turn heat to medium and mix everything often. Once garlic has browned, add the vegetables in the Crock-pot.

5) Add beef broth. Cook on low for 6-7 hours, then enjoy!